Cookie Policy for Aspie Singles

The accept button is in the bottom of the page.
You only need to accept our cookie terms once.

What Are Cookies

As is common practice with almost all professional websites this site uses cookies, which are tiny files that are downloaded to your computer, to improve your experience. This page describes what information they gather, how we use it and why we sometimes need to store these cookies. We will also share how you can prevent these cookies from being stored however this may downgrade or ‘break’ certain elements of the sites functionality.

How We Use Cookies

We use cookies for a variety of reasons detailed below. Unfortunately in most cases there are no industry standard options for disabling cookies without completely disabling the functionality and features they add to this site. It is recommended that you leave on all cookies if you are not sure whether you need them or not in case they are used to provide a service that you use.

Disabling Cookies

You can prevent the setting of cookies by adjusting the settings on your browser (see your browser Help for how to do this). Be aware that disabling cookies will affect the functionality of this and many other websites that you visit. Disabling cookies will usually result in also disabling certain functionality and features of the this site. Therefore it is recommended that you do not disable cookies.

The Cookies We Set

Account related cookies.
If you create an account with us then we will use cookies for the management of the signup process and general administration. These cookies will usually be deleted when you log out however in some cases they may remain afterwards to remember your site preferences when logged out.

Login related cookies.
We use cookies when you are logged in so that we can remember this fact. This prevents you from having to log in every single time you visit a new page. These cookies are typically removed or cleared when you log out to ensure that you can only access restricted features and areas when logged in.

Forms related cookies
When you submit data to through a form such as those found on contact pages or comment forms cookies may be set to remember your user details for future correspondence.

Site preferences cookies
In order to provide you with a great experience on this site we provide the functionality to set your preferences for how this site runs when you use it. In order to remember your preferences we need to set cookies so that this information can be called whenever you interact with a page is affected by your preferences.

More Information

Hopefully that has clarified things for you and as was previously mentioned if there is something that you aren’t sure whether you need or not it’s usually safer to leave cookies enabled in case it does interact with one of the features you use on our site.

However if you are still looking for more information then you can contact us through one of our preferred contact methods:

Email: info@aspie-singles.com

I find people off the spectrum lie too much – Page 2 – Dating for individuals with Asperger and people that appreciate them

I find people off the spectrum lie too much

Safe dating for people on the spectrum Forums Dating with Asperger’s I find people off the spectrum lie too much

This topic contains 25 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by  Loves Ferraris 2 months ago.

Viewing 11 posts - 16 through 26 (of 26 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #1805

    Rich
    Participant

    Lies yeah, i did as a kid, i had to.. liars I can spot a mile off.. there are so many bullshitters

    #4139

    papaBear
    Participant

    guess I’m bumping this up, but…

    Lying, modified truth or a expectation that everybody understand it’s not entirely true, is one of the things I allways have had problems with… And trying to make myself understand is a mental strain of huge proportions… I can do it, for a while, but it taxes me so much it usually turns into a meltdown after a while. Why can’t people just say it straight??? The NT social “dance” is mind-exhausting.

    I’ve tried, and tried, and tried, man how tired I am of trying… I still don’t have a clue, and when it turns out I have misunderstood or something, I’m the one that is the “bad guy”… Because it’s “normal” to understand this, everybody does, right… Bugger, another burnt bridge or shipwreck.

    I say what I mean, and mean what I say. Too bad most people either look at me as a rude troublemaker, or a mentally challenged… True, I am challenged. But not mentally, IQ way higher than average, and an understanding of logic and patterns that make it easy for me to fix about anything. But definately NOT people smart, those I do not understand…

    I don’t think the average NT is lying, but I think they are the ones that is mentally challenged. They have to sugar the truth, modify it a little, to be accepted. It gets a habit, a bad one, to tell semi-truths. Me? I just say it, F*** the rest. If they can’t handle the logic of this or that, I don’t spend more time on’em.

    Be yourself no matter what, trying to be something you can’t be will just kill ya sooner. I intend to live long, maybe alone, but never lonely.

    #4485

    Mastermind
    Participant

    Everyone lies at some point, just the type of people in question lie a whole lot.

    #5287

    jobby1981
    Participant

    Thank you for such great conversation. I think aspie women are lied to quite a bit and should definitely benefit from the “truth” on this site from aspie men. Aspie males and females can help each other out quite a bit with dating and befriending NTs. I am looking forward to reading more threads. 🙂

    #5295

    Sorry to necro a thread.

    The thing I find most hillareous about NTs lying and such is twofold, first as you all have mentioned they do it costantly, second they have all these facial ticks and hand wavings etc they do to try and distract each other as they do it.

    I spend a long time in IT but never actually graduated college (no need to), however here recently I have returned to finish off my degree before taking a new research position. My advisor was trying to tell me that between my research, MCAT prep, running my lab etc etc he thought I was taking too many hours in my last 2 semesters. I could not help but laugh a bit as he tried to say it without saying it.

    I finally said to him: Look lets be honest. I have asperger’s you need to just cut to the chase and say whatever it is you are tryign to say as opposed to looking like you are having facial spasms. You are not going to offend me, just say what you mean. And if you ever do offend me, don’t worry I will let you know that too.

    They all do it though. I can never tell what they are trying to say exactly, I just know that what they are saying does not logically flow from the situation or their obvious discomfort.

    Are we positive we are the ones that are “disabled”? It seems to me there is somethign broken in them if they need to constantly hide what they are saying.

    #5296

    Ewoud
    Keymaster

    Fantastic post Robert. And I totally agree. I actually believe we are more sane.

    More in the moment, able to really enjoy things and not even being able to to react from all that ego crap but rather reacting on it by honesty.

    If people go hurt or shocked or what not. It’s always their ego. I don’t get hurt or shocked that easily. I think Asperger is a gift. The world is just too fucked up and out of harmony. 😉

    #5631

    Ruth Piazzon
    Participant

    Goodness me, talk about echoing all my problems with NTs lying. I know that this thread is more to do with dating, but I have a major problem atm with a close family member who tells dreadful lies about very important things and people.. PapaBear earlier said to be yourself or it will kill you and of course he’s right and I can’t continue to crap on my own integrity. I wondered if anybody here has to face a similar confrontation with an (narcissistic) NT? I’m terrible at confrontations, more or less instant meldown if things heat up.

    #5647

    aidan
    Participant

    ruth : disassociation with entire family resolved own issues of aggressive , lying , untrustworthy , highly intelligent older sibling . whilst not perfect , is definitely easier on the head …

    #5649

    Dedjal
    Participant

    And here I thought that my mental blockade regarding lying was a quirk of mine.
    Nice to see that it is a trait shared.

    #5650

    Loves Ferraris
    Participant

    Yeah, I’m tired of the lying too. I notice that a lot of people lie to themselves, as well. Not necessary. I would prefer that people stick to the facts. Trust and respect are very important to me.

    #5651

    Loves Ferraris
    Participant

    Goodness me, talk about echoing all my problems with NTs lying. I know that this thread is more to do with dating, but I have a major problem atm with a close family member who tells dreadful lies about very important things and people.. PapaBear earlier said to be yourself or it will kill you and of course he’s right and I can’t continue to crap on my own integrity. I wondered if anybody here has to face a similar confrontation with an (narcissistic) NT? I’m terrible at confrontations, more or less instant meldown if things heat up.

    @ Ruth Piazzon

    Hi Ruth. There are 2 narcissistic NT’s in my family. They show the same behaviour you describe and also try to create divisions between family members by setting them up against each other, so to speak. Whenever, they show disruptive behaviour, my strategy has always been to refuse to interact with them, until they decide to behave in a rational manner. They don’t like it when I take that stance but they are also aware that I won’t tolerate that kind of behaviour. But I admit I can be blunt at times.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

SIGN INTO YOUR ACCOUNT CREATE NEW ACCOUNT

 
×
CREATE ACCOUNT ALREADY HAVE AN ACCOUNT?

Security Question

 
×
FORGOT YOUR DETAILS?
×

Go up

Skip to toolbar