Do you actively seek out a romantic relationship?

Autism Dating Site – Asperger Dating Site and Friendship Site Forums Dating with Asperger’s Do you actively seek out a romantic relationship?

  • This topic has 22 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 2 days ago by Anonymous.
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  • #1082
    Alice Diableaux
    Participant

    I think I’m just on here to meet like-minded people. Also I don’t expect anyone to actually live closeby. But I’m demisexual, so most of the time when I’m not crushing on someone or anything I’m pretty much asexual and definitely aromantic. I’ve never understood why people actively seek out relationships. All my previous relationships came to be by me falling in love, then the guy falling in love as well and after we hung out every day and did all the relationship stuff for a month or three it was very reluctantly like… sooo… I guess we have a relationship now or something? When it goes like that, when it happens organically, I can be okay with it, I guess. I must say I was quite young then and I’ve matured and changed A LOT so maybe now I wouldn’t be so reluctant anymore, but the idea of actively seeking out a relationship, or things like going on dates with the explicit intention of trying to get to know each other for the sole purpose of maybe getting a relationship, as opposed to just getting to know each other as friends and then falling in love with each other and going from there, just seems so alien to me.

    #1084
    Ewoud
    Keymaster

    That sounds very recognizable. I have the same due to my demi/sapio inclination. I don’t fall for bodies. I fall for personalities. Someone smart and sensitive can be super attractive to me. While someone that is considered generally attractive is totally uninteresting for me. I like the esthetics of a nice body of course (see the art in my profile) but that is not a sexual turn on more a in appreciation of beauty. I wouldnt say that I am a-sexual but I just don’t see the point of having sex with someone that I don’t feel attracted to mentally and emotionally. It only complicates things in such cases.

    I am looking for interesting people. Not specifically for a potential partner. It would be a nice by-product of getting to know someone that that person seems so special that I fall in love and visa versa. But that is never a goal for me. That is apparently strange,s o it happened quite a lot that a girl was awestruck by me while I wasn’t interested in more than friendship. I did however think we had a friendship, also because I was clear about that matter that we wouldn’t be partners but still they hoped. So they stuck around until it was clear that there wasn’t a relationship to gain with me while they were in love and then cut all tie with me because hey found it too difficult to be friends with me. That has happened a lot…

    #1519
    dregj
    Participant

    really dont know how

    #1711
    Ewoud
    Keymaster

    I think that the best mind is an open mind. As soon as you are very goal oriented then it’s likely that you’ll stare blind at the goal. Kust seeing what happens might be the better attitude.

    #1734
    dregj
    Participant

    staring at the problem so hard we ignore the solution

    #1790
    *AspieGirl*
    Member

    I used to seek out relationships. Then I was, well it felt like I was steamrolled, by people I dated… then I went on dating breaks that last years… (seriously) and occasionally came out of hibernation when I met someone that surprised me, and those times ended badly, and here I am single. My heart is now black, like my hair… =(

    #1791
    *AspieGirl*
    Member

    ohhhh. Did you mean, NOW, on here, this site? mmmmm…. not at this time. I am here for friendship… I was searching for a picture I found funny online, typed in “aspie” and then stopped and “aspie dating” popped up and here I am. I was curious. So I decided to join this aspie singles community. =)

    #5291
    Anonymous
    Inactive

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    #5332
    Riverr
    Participant

    My goal was always friendship. I read a lot of articles, book sections, and even watched lots of videos related to human behaviour. Stand up comedians taught me a lot about what are the strange rules and behaviour patterns on NT people. I just learned to mimic. Making friends is still difficult with NT people because they lie a lot and make promises they don’t want to keep. They most often have no honor in their word. This time I want to make at least a friend that is from my planet. I mean, someone or more than just one who doesn’t mind being brutally honest and straightforward.
    I must say that my fiance and I met via a social site which can also be used as a dating site. We started talking because he found my profile funny. I just had “Hi, I’m Son Goku and you are reading this in my voice.” We talked for hours and days before he jokingly asked me to be his wife and I said yes. He was shocked at my quick response but was elated. We have been together for a little over 2 years now.
    I still want to make friends without having the “romance thing” being an issue. I think if you find someone who you can have more than a friendship that’s pretty cool, but I already found my potato man. I just want friends.

    #5333
    montydom
    Participant

    Hey Riverr that is a nice and encouraging comment for everyone looking for friendship

    #6418
    Voice Nerd
    Participant

    I have no clue how to date. I’m a bit opposite about wanting to get to know someone first. For friends, yes, but I’m really sensitive about body smells, textures and other stuff like that, so dating is difficult as most men gross me out physically with their stubble and rough skin and sweaty body smells, and spit, yucky. Romantic relationship will need to eventually be sexual, but no-can-do if someone grosses me out, no matter how much I love them or we connect on other levels. So I feel I am doomed. Just friends is probably all I will ever have with anyone. I have had a few close male friends I have loved very much, and I ended up being “best man” in their weddings. Do we hang out anymore? No. Third wheel sucks.

    #8002
    justin777
    Participant

    that’s a shame Voice Nerd, as i think you come across as a really nice woman who also is very beautiful.
    I am sure you would make the right partner very happy. perhaps you could get some form of therapy to help with
    some of your challenges.

    #9000
    Yaffaleh
    Participant

    I don’t actively seek out “romantic” relationships, but would love to have a friend/travel partner that turned into one! I’m totally monogamous and would only EVER date one person. I’m content in my life, but would be nice if I could add someone to it!

    #9003
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello. I am now seeking a girlfriend for the first time since 1999. My marriage is over but my wife (nt) and i currently still living together separately if that makes sense? We have 3 boys 10 and under. It’s complicated. I was diagnosed recently aged 46 with ASD (aspergers). I joined this site as i think ideally aspies ought to be together. Logical love we both understand. Descriptive and explanatory. I imagine you may know the kind? I would like to chat with and meet a nice female aspie with whom a relationship can be realistic and enlightening. I have much love in my heart but make an arse of things verbally on occasion. I am kind, work hard and am a very good devoted father. Look me up if you want to chat. I would like that a lot. Craig.

    #9292
    PK
    Participant

    I’m actively seeking right now and it’s unnatural as all hell. I’d much rather coexist in the same sphere as other people, preferably online, and have sporadic interaction until a connection naturally develops. I’ve tried local dating apps and even been on a few dates and it all seems so forced. I can’t tell from meeting a stranger whether I ever might be into them once we’d grown familiar, months down the line. And I sure don’t want to make out with someone unless I’ve had time to fall for their personality.

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