Autism Dating – Front page › Forums › Dating with Asperger’s › The difference between men and women with ASD in regards to sexual behavior…
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28/11/2022 at 11:52 pm #29796AnonymousInactive
A study was done on the differences between men and women with ASD, as well as men and women NTs (neurotypicals), in regards to sexual behavior. This is what they found:
1. Of people with ASD, women were 3x more likely to be in a relationship than men.
2. Comparing men with and without ADS, men with ASD reported a greater sexual desire for sexual intercourse, yet had a lower frequency of sexual intercourse than the men without ASD. Men with ASD also had a higher frequency of masturbation than men without ASD.
3. Of the four groups which are: men with ASD, women with ASD, men without ASD, and women without ASD… it was only men with ASD that could be classified as hypersexual.
4. Of those same four groups, men with ASD were reported to have the most frequent paraphilic (any intense and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in genital stimulation or preparatory fondling with phenotypically normal, physically mature, consenting human partners) sexual fantasies and behaviors.
So what does this mean? Well, personally, the big takeaway is to stop running in circles trying to solve a problem that can’t be solved. I can force a barbell go up, I can force a car go forward, I can force a computer run an application, but I cannot force a person be attracted to me. There are things that I can do to be MORE attractive, but I cannot force a person be attracted to me. I am inherently unattractive being a man with ASD. I am sad that I didn’t realize this sooner, but I can be happy that I am still young. I may or may not die alone, but I can’t think about it too much because there’s only so much that I can do to control that.
I’m curious to know what everyone else’s takeaway from this is, because this obviously contradicts the mainstream narrative.
And lastly, I just want to say that I hope that all of you men out there with ASD are hanging in there. If you ever want to talk about anything or need a friend, my DMs are open. I promise that I’m a good listener.
12/02/2023 at 8:40 pm #30239AnonymousInactiveI must be one rare female with a high sex drive but was late to know about sex and masterbating.
12/02/2023 at 10:34 pm #30240AnonymousInactiveInteresting. But remember, the study isn’t necessarily saying anyone has a “high” or “low” sex drive, because that is subjective, but rather they are comparing sex drives. And I just found it interesting that the group that has the highest desire for a thing also has the least amount of that thing. This is obviously because sex (assuming consentual) requires two people, and women with and without ASD both generally do not want to be in a relationship (or have sex) with men who have ASD, as shown by the results of this study.
19/04/2023 at 3:14 am #30601SekkeiGeekParticipantHow/why did you arrive to a conclusion that because of ASD that you are inherently less attractive?
Interesting study. I didn’t have time to read through it but a few thoughts come to mind:
– Did they differentiate between various levels of autism and particular autistic traits?
My guess is that they didn’t which means the correlation can be misleading to assume that the lower frequency of sexual intercourse was due to attractiveness; or that ASD alone was a determining factor preventing frequency of sexual intercourse. Also, if one is looking to intercourse as an indicator of meaningful connections that could also be a pitfall. For all we know, although frequency of intercourse was higher in non ASD males…it is possible that neurotypical male/females or ASD females are getting less meaningful connection and more superficial connections.
Also, Factors such as type of traits someone has and the way society has pressured us to mask and force behaviors instead of understanding our feelings, needs, and ways to adapt I theorize are more important factors to look at regarding why there is less sexual intercourse–or more importantly, meaningful connection.::heart:: <3
19/04/2023 at 3:19 am #30602SekkeiGeekParticipant*disregard the last post* I edited it but it wouldn’t let me save.*
How/why did you arrive to a conclusion that because of ASD that you are inherently less attractive?
Interesting study. I didn’t have time to read through it but a few thoughts come to mind:
– Did they differentiate between various levels of autism and particular autistic traits?
My guess is that they didn’t which means the correlation can be misleading to assume that the lower frequency of sexual intercourse was due to attractiveness; or that ASD alone was a determining factor preventing frequency of sexual intercourse.
Also, if one is looking to intercourse as an indicator of meaningful connections that could also be a pitfall. For all we know, although frequency of intercourse was lower in ASD males…it is possible that neurotypicals and ASD females are getting less meaningful connection and more superficial connections.
Also, Factors such as type and severity of ASD traits someone has can vary and influence the data greatly.
In addition, society and traditional treatment methods have pressured ASD individuals to mask and force behaviors instead of understanding our feelings and needs in order to adapt. Due to this, I theorize these factors are more influential in affecting sexual intercourse frequencies–or more importantly, meaningful connection.
::heart:: <3
- This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by SekkeiGeek.
30/08/2023 at 5:16 pm #31271tomParticipantI’m really starting to think masturbation is much worse then previously thought.
27/07/2024 at 4:54 pm #33824AnonymousInactiveThat’s pretty interesting. When I was young compatibility was common. However as I got older everyone’s drive decreased, mine did not. That really put a wedge on compatibility to move forward. Out of all the relationships I’ve had, the only one that was truly compatible with me on this subject, she was on the spectrum and had even higher needs. I was a very lucky man to have someone like that in high school, dated from age 14 to 22.
At a young age with hormones racing, I can’t imagine where I would have ended up if it wasn’t for her, lol. As of today it’s been six years, don’t even remember what it feels like. Online dating is my only tool, no one responded in that time. I fill void with treating myself. Cook an awesome meal, binge something awesome like LOTR. Entertainment may not be what you asked for but it goes the distance!
After a few years of being invisible that desire goes away (finally). After that, you can really focus that attention on you and make the best of it.
Thanks for sharing!
Brad -
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