Hi Kevin – I second Ewould’s comment. There is nothing “wrong” with you even though it may feel that way some days. Sadly, it is not unusual to struggle with autism for years. I should know because I was fifty-seven when I finally figured it out. Now that you know what you are up against you have a fighting chance. There is life after a diagnosis.
Feel free to reach out whenever you need to talk about things. I too want to meet other aspies.