Reply To: That very first date

[Douwe]

My golden tip is…Use your (probably) aspie-directness and (possibly suppressed because that happens) honesty to tell things like how easy and good the connection feels if it feels good. Use compliments. Not standard ones. get the weird ones out. The ones they never have heard before but that is true. If you are really attracted to someones intelligence tell them that you feel attracted to their intelligence. Compliment on values and content rather than on the context. “Damn… I really feel attracted to you…” can be a good thing to say at the right moment but saying something like “There are not many people that manage to keep my attention while you just don’t seem to have any problem with that!” Or “You really seem to stimulate my brains” and so on… I am dead direct with stuff like that and I recon that that is the reason why I hardly had problems with ending up in the dreaded friend-zone. The best thing is to be Frank and spontaneous without really overdoing it. And the rest is just practice. I am like 26 years tan you are older. I’ve failed a lot. 😉

I’ve looked at your profile. You are an attractive guy so you should use your humor and be a little daring. Use your grammar skills to make witty puns that are juuuust on the edge. Be playful. Saying that which goes a little further and totally original catches the right girls or guys heart. Say “God.. I totally wonder what it would feel like to snuggle up to you!” If you are wondering about that… I used to be very careful in what I said, afraid to say the wrong thing, and I got friend-zoned. I mainly fall for women and most women don’t mind a man that is direct and frank. Often they find it refreshing and attractive. Being too nice lands you in the friend-zone, not the time you spend chatting…

Good luck J.T.