disheartend and sad

This topic contains 14 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  pcitservice 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #1871

    Pokesomi
    Participant

    So I have been on a lot of dating sites and really haven’t had any luck or traction with finding someone to share my life with as it were. Currently on tinder, because why not, holly hell to webcam bots are Bleeping annoying and really easy to spot. Not sure if my profile may be partial cause of some of my problems, but can anyone give me feedback even from the ladies perspective and help me improve

    #2053

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    Is your profile online similar to your profile here?

    It’s ok, but if you put some activities that you like that you want to share with a date that would be helpful… do you like to go eat out? do you like to go to the movies? Do you want to go roller-skating? get a coffee? get an ice cream? watch Doctor Who?

    whatever you’re into, make sure you add things that other people like (the opposite sex- if that’s what you’re looking for) would like to do also…

    the problem I see with many online personal profiles is people talk all about their interests and some of those interests are very limited and or gender-based like for example if I said I just like shopping and painting my nails and light decorating cupcakes if you don’t like to do any of those things it’s hard to connect with that person so if I actually wrote the things I would like to do with other people shared activities those are more important the ones I’m willing to do my own hobbies are important but not totally to the other people looking at my profile generally those are things you do by yourself I mean it’s really really great to find someone who is end of the stuff you do so maybe you can make like like a bullet point list of the things you like to do hope you find someone who likes some other things and then make a list of things you would like to do with other people on your date you could say something like on a date I like to and then put a few things you would do you know would be fun you know playing video games or or you know trying all the sushi in your town or taking a hike I don’t know whatever it is you are willing to do with other people you need to make sure that that’s out there because I’m a woman I would just bypass a man’s profile if it’s very limited and all he does is talk about things he does in his own free time that I probably might not like to do I have my own obsessions my own interest usually puppies and chocolate and art and things like that and if you’re not into that and I’m not into your thing you know your interest we need to find common interests so that number one have something to talk to you about over the internet and also I can determine number to if I would like to go on a date with you and number three what we could actually do want to date because the whole purpose of a date is to get to know somebody basically it’s like I hate to say it like a job interview for a relationship and it doesn’t have to be totally scary you just keep going out there you keep meeting people you keep you know you just keep putting yourself out there it really is a numbers game and until you find your match in person then you just have to get out there and just think of it as something fun dating is a hobby you know you have to put the effort into it you need to go out with quite a few people to find somebody that you like it’s just how it is if that’s what you going to do with dating sites and you don’t have to spend money you can go to a park and you can bring a picnic and bring your own shoes to your own can soda whatever it is you want to do you can stop and go to a park or somewhere and just get a coffee you know I’m not a big drinker and I really don’t like it when people suggest that we go to a bar because they just kind of put my red flags up where it makes me kind of feel vulnerable when someone’s like oh come to my house come to a bar and drink you know because usually that lowers your inhibitions and then all of a sudden I’m babbling and saying stupid ass s*** and nobody really should never say on a first date and then they pick up on that and a lot of times I happen to meet people who are not nice people and then they see that vulnerable naive thing in me and they just like latch onto it and so for me I don’t like to go meet for drinks maybe maybe for someone who like drinking and might be good for relaxing but for me it just makes me like a problem I see with many online personal profiles is people talk all about their interests and some of those interests are very limited and or gender based like for example if I said I just like shopping and hating my nails and like decorating cupcakes if you don’t like to do any of those things it’s hard to connect with that person so if I actually wrote the things I would like to do whatever people shared activities those are more important than ones I’m willing to do my own hobbies are important but not totally to the other people looking at my profile generally those were things you do by yourself I mean it its really really great to find someone who is end of the stuff you do so maybe you can make like like a bullet point list of the things you like to do hoping you find someone who likes them were things and then make a list of things you would like to do with other people on your date you could say something like on a date I like to and then put a few things you would be no would be fine you know playing video games or or you know triangle the sushi in your town or taking a hike I’d know whatever it is you are willing to do with other people you need to make sure that that’s out there because I was a woman I would just bypass a man’s profile if its very limited and all he does is talk about things he does and his own free time that I probably I might not like to do I have my own obsessions my own interest usually poppies and chocolate and are in things of like that and if you’re not into that and I’m not in the you’re saying you know your interest we need to find calm and interests so that I number one has something to talk to you about over the internet and also I can determine number to if I would like to go on a date with you and numbers three what we could actually do want to date because a whole purpose of a date is to get to know somebody basically it’s like I hate to say it like a job interview but for relationship and it doesn’t have to be totally scary you just keep going out there you keep meeting people you keep you know you just keep putting yourself out there really is a numbers game and until you find your mat sure person then you just have to get towels there and just think of it as something fun dating is a hobby you know you have to put a leopard into it you need to go out with a quite a few people do fine somebody that you like its just how would is if the if that’s what you doing to do with dating sites and you don’t have to spend money you can go to a park and you can bring a picnic snack Eagle bring your own to see your own can Soto whatever it is you want to do you can stop and go to park or somewhere in just got a coffee you know I’m not a big drinker and I really don’t like it when people suggest that we go to a bar because Dad of kind of puts my red flags up

    #2054

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    I totally just used the microphone to text… and was going to edit, but it went through… I am dying over here with laughter on what just came out… it had so much more but it got cut off…

    #2056

    Pokesomi
    Participant

    ive done that, makes writing a lot easier when I transcribe it with microphone to text on top of that, I almost got scammed recently and its made me deathly afraid of online dating, kinda why I haven’t been on in a while

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Pokesomi.
    #2058

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    I think I am addicted…. already… so much easier… I am on a phone so it’s hard to type and edit on it

    #2059

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    What are your interests that you want to share with others?

    #2060

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    Have you tried http://www.meetup.com
    Its NOT a dating site

    #2061

    Pokesomi
    Participant

    disneyland, electronics diy kits and some video games, though not many, Euro Truck simulator is my current game of choice at the moment, but I like going out for food, sushi is always good, chinese

    #2062

    Pokesomi
    Participant

    tried meetup, but my interests are a little odd, and not covered under most of what they have there another thing I like to do, is train photography

    #2064

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    So join a photography meetup…. and just go to events, not expecting to meet cute girls, just go for social practice…

    #2065

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    I think people find dating partners when they are just out living life, the meetups help to make more friends with common intetests…

    #2066

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    Join geeky meetups… lots of geeky girls join those and that’s where the aspie girls are hiding… or the NT girls who would date an aspie guy…

    #2067

    *AspieGirl*
    Participant

    If you want, you can private message me links to your dating profiles and I can critique them for you…

    #3656

    Anonymous

    I’ve gone to Meetup support groups and those haven’t turned out well. Too many arguments with other spectrum folk.

    #5293

    pcitservice
    Participant

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