I know that this is an old thread but just wanted to add my thoughts. I got my official diagnosis as an adult – that was about 10 years ago. It didn’t solve any problems for me either, but it did give me a handle on things and helped me understand why I thought the way I did. It helped me understand why my communication/interaction strategies still feel as I have to do them consciously, even though I’ve used them for many years. When communicating/interacting with other people, I have to expend a lot of energy into listening to the other person, watching their facial expression and reading their body language. I have to monitor my own communication style – making sure I have the appropriate facial expressions, appropriate body language, appropriate tone of voice, remembering to make eye contact, remembering to pause, etc. I was taught all of these things as a young person and hoped that they would become second nature to me.
On the other hand, the official diagnosis was confirmation to me that my parents, who had suspected many yeas ago, that I might have had a mild form of autism, were correct in their opinion. This was before the use of the term Asperger’s Syndrome became more common. My parents suspected that I may have had mild autism because I had trouble interacting with other people appropriately. At the time, doctors advised my parents that I didn’t have autism because I could speak. My parents disagreed with that opinion and trained me themselves in the art of communication and interacting with other people.