Reply To: Anyone in the south? (US)

#1223

Ewoud
Keymaster

Hi dcjrkns,

A little heads up or you… It’s all about experience and I like it a lot that it didn’t discourage you! A real thumbs up for that!!! The only way to get there is by getting out there. I will tell you my tricks and those are very simple.

#1 You keep on talking for a long time before you meet so that you have something to talk about because chit chat just simply won’t work. You just have to know the other person before you meet. You have to level with them. So don’t date after talking for some days or a week even. Use a month or for my part even two… Really connect online and before you date be open about it that you may be little shy at first but that you are confident that that will disappear quickly if you two have the same nice connection in real life as online. If you are dating a fellow aspie then this person will probably have exactly the same and you can be cute about each others shyness which just will release the pressure.

#2 Be open about everything, so also about your fears but don’t forget telling about your joys in life and your dreams… What is attractive is people who dare to show themselves. In that way your weaknesses can also become your strengths.

#3 The last thing is somethign I really believe in… the setting… I have stopped dating in cafes. There is too much distraction for me to hold focus on the person I am with if I on’t know her yet. A quiet restaurant is better and then you still have food to look to avoid the first confrontation. πŸ˜‰ But what is even better is a picknick in a park… Trust me on this one… Be a gentleman and buy bottle of nice wine, some french bread, some cheeses or what ever you feel like putting on it (check her diet preferences) and bring some blankets and pillows and be comfortable by just having a cosy time… Focus on having a good times dcjrkns, not on dating, not on wanting something out of it, but at having a great time. If it will be just for once then that is that. It was still nice to talk with that person. All has its chemistry. With some people it clicks and with others not. If not then its just a good thing really that you didn’t end up together but if it does then very beautiful things can happen too.

This doesn’t only count you but all aspies here. πŸ˜‰

Good luck,

Ewoud

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