Reply To: I find people off the spectrum lie too much

[Douwe]

That is what I am thinking. In the first paragraph at least…

Not all NT’s are like that but there is a reason why I stared this site. Aspies usually understand Aspies better than most NT’s do. And especially when it comes down to relationships then there is a lot less noise on the line. So, I sincerely hope that this website will help people to find each other without wasting time on problems like the one you are describing or on people that say that they do understand and that that they can give space when you need it but who don’t do it when you do need it. That is what I have come across a lot.

I have been lied to though or better, my last ex didn’t think to mention certain things that I felt were wrong so she basically denied everything until she broke up with me. In her words it was “wishful thinking”. For me it is hard if someone denies things that i am aware of because if someone tells me something then I trust them. Trust is a big thing. I find it strange and impossible to comprehend when an NT doesn’t trust me. But that is probably because they can’t be trusted themselves…

Just one more thing… I never date too soon. I take a lot of time talking with someone online before I meet because I need that to level with the other person and to find out if that person is able to keep me interested and visa versa of course. If I meet someone out of the blue without having laid some solid ground first then I get stuck because like most of us I am a terrible small talker. When the connection is already meaningful then there is a much bigger chance that a real life date will work out fine as well. And if not then it is just a matter of digesting it for a while and moving forward again with little more insight. 😉

The most important thing is to stay positive… I believe that there is someone for everyone. It may take some time and effort to find that someone but if you do then you will…